Freak Magnet

I don't know what it is about me...but I attract freaks. It is almost like I have an open invitation on my forehead that reads, "Freaks welcome...just start talking". I was downtown last week and from a distance I spotted a teenager in yellow. This is an indication to either take a detour (not always possible since one teenager in yellow means there is a teenager in yellow on every corner within a 3 block radius) or walk by and do NOT make eye contact. Eyes straight down. Risk tripping before making eye contact. Could it be a WASHPIRG-er? Or someone trying to get me to sign a petition for Eyman's latest tax scandal? Or is it those La Rouche guys again? I was successful in avoiding this guy. But...then...I let my guard down. How could I? It all happened so fast. My cell phone rang. Once my call was over and I was still waiting for a friend to arrive, is when it all went down hill. I saw them standing next to me...the sea of yellow. I thought they were "off" since they were just standing around talking and not harassing any passer-byers. Wrong! Here he comes!!! I was cornered against the wall with nowhere to run. Shit! My avoiding yellow shirters karma has caught up with me. Turns out he works for some organization called PlanUSA that basically tries to put a stop to child trafficking, provides shelter and clean water in third world countries. He told me that I could "adopt" a child and be responsible for it's life. Really? I said that seemed like a lot of responsibility that I just wasn't ready for. But it was only $24 a month. What a deal! After his rudimentary explanation of the organization, I began asking all sorts of questions. I mean what else was I going to do? Walk away? Where would I go? This is where I was meeting my friend (where is she by the way?). His answers clearly indicated his lack of real knowledge about his summer job. I'll give the guy a break on this one though since he is only 18. At least he is working. My friend! Here she comes. Thank god. The funny thing is right before she arrived, this crazy guy approached the yellow-shirter. I guess I'm not the only one attracting freaks.

That would be enough for one day in my book...but why let it end there? Later that same day, this guy came up to me at Pike Place with these beautiful bouquets and wanted 2 bucks for one bouquet. At this point, I could have gotten the money out, given it to him and been happy that I just scored a $20 bouquet for the same cost as it is to park for 30 minutes in downtown. But no...of course I had to ask why are they so cheap? I was wondering where he got them. He told me that he doesn't have a lady and so he wants to sell flowers to ladies as it makes him feel better. Now I am feeling terrible for being so nosy. Maybe I'm the freak. If I bought them would I be accepting a date? I dug in to my wallet only to find that all I had was a twenty. He said next time.

Don't worry, there was one more incident that day. During a late evening walk around Green Lake (walking fast in time to get home for Reno 911), I had to hit the bathroom. There I am in the only stall and some woman starts talking to me from the other side of the stall. What? This is only cool if...a-we know eachother or b-we're both really drunk. I didn't know her and had only had one beer. Turns out she got to look through the fancy telescope that some guy had and got to see Jupiter and that this guy is going to call her when Saturn is in view...next year. Sure he is. Was this my golden opportunity to give her my number so she could call me when Saturn appears? A sort of telephone tag game. What fun.

I'm not sure why I am a freak magnet, but at least it provides for good stories and laughter on my part. My advice is to keep your head up...you never know when a two dollar bouquet might come your way. Except when you see yellow. Or red.