Pet Detective

It saddens me to report (to the best of my knowledge) that Cutie has not yet been found. A few days ago while walking the neighborhood, it appeared as if the flyers had been removed. My heart skipped a beat. Turns out that the flyers are indeed still hanging...but are currently being overshadowed by the newest flyer addition to the hood! These new flyers have some serious bling. It was almost like I was looking right past Cutie now. I got sucked in big time to the huge COLOR photo of Tundra the cat.

At first I thought Tundra to be quite a fitting name for this cat, unlike the drawing vs. name confusion of Cutie. However, after some further research I found out that the definition of tundra is NOT a big, white snowy mountain region in Alaska with patches of brown dirt (ironically this is how I would describe the cat in nature terminology), but is rather:

a level or rolling treeless plain that is characteristic of arctic and subarctic regions, consists of black mucky soil with a permanently frozen subsoil, and has a dominant vegetation of mosses, lichens, herbs, and dwarf shrubs; also : a similar region confined to mountainous areas above timberline.

Guess I was asleep in Geology (or would it be Geography?) that day. Although I now know the real meaning of tundra, I am even more curious about what this cat did to receive its name. Could its owners be as stupid as me and made up their own similar definition of tundra? Or was there some sort of black murky soil incident when Tundra was a kitten? Regardless of the name origin, I have no idea the whereabouts of Tundra and why a big ball of fur would disappear in the middle of summer...but I have my theories. My first thought was that Tundra was in someone's shady garage snacking on Cutie and that it would show up in a day or two. But then I saw a blurb on the flyer that the cat was recently "de-nailed". No cat could catch a spider, let alone a cockateel without nails. And of course your cat is going to run away if you let it outside after being "de-nailed". I would. It is with this knowledge that I have drawn the conclusion that Tundra is basking on some sort of pimped out Lazy Boy chair in Sunset Hill and has no intentions of returning to the Phinney slums.

I hope I never have to use (or give) any flyer advice, but for the record...it seems that the more flyer flare, the more attraction to the flyer. If you don't have any color photos of your pet, now is the time to get that camera out. Snap away. Glamour shot the hell out of your pet. Or be prepared to call your local Pet Detective when your pet goes missing.