Ope Dope

Oprah for President. I swear she would win. She’s like a really powerful drug. People watch her, get addicted, start Tivo-ing her and before you know it they are buying any product she is buying, trying any diet she is trying and basically replicating her in all walks of like. I like to call it the Ope Dope. My Mom is semi-addicted to the stuff. This past Christmas, she printed out a copy of “Oprah’s Top Ten Christmas Gifts” and gave it to me. Just the list…not the gifts. Why would I want these gifts, let alone the list itself? Half the shit is totally useless and the other half is totally unaffordable on most salaries.

I have Oprah on my mind due to her current outrage against James Frey. For those not following the headlines…he is the author of a book called A Million Little Pieces, which in a nutshell is a memoir of his past addiction to drugs and how he turned himself around and all of the struggles in between. Blah, blah, blah. Oprah had him on her show, touted his book as remarkable and put it in her book club. It not only became a National Bestseller, but it has “reportedly sold more copies than any other title chosen by the TV star”. Of course it has. Ope Dope.

I don’t do the Ope Dope, but I did read the book. I like good literature and similar to most people in the world, things that I have very little comprehension of intrigue me. Like being addicted to crack, heroin and glue (yes glue).

Earlier this month, things started falling apart for Oprah and the book that “kept her awake at night”. The Smoking Gun came out with an article claiming, “Oprah has been had”. From the little Ope Dope that I have been exposed to in my lifetime, I don’t think that Oprah likes to “be had”. The article entitled “A Million Little Lies: Exposing James Frey’s Fiction Addiction” describes the Smoking Gun’s 6 week investigation in to police reports, court records, interviews with law enforcement personnel, and other sources which prove that key sections of Frey's book are wholly fabricated or wildly embellished.

Oprah then went on to defend James on Larry King Live. Apparently this got a lot of the Ope Dope’s very upset and the e-mails came pouring in telling Oprah that her stance on the issue was sending the message that it is ok to lie. As if a bunch of toddlers watch Oprah or something. (Wait, do they???) Oprah must have realized that it is not good to piss off the Ope addicts, so she decided to have James back on the show where she confronted him, called him a fake and basically made him look like an evil person for lying to the world.

I find all of this ridiculous. Who the fuck cares? So, he fabricated some things in his book. Yes, he should have had a disclaimer. Yes, he probably should not have used the word memoir. But come on people, life, in part, is a fabrication. We go to work every day to jobs that most of us don’t really even like and smile when the boss comes by even if he (or she) is the biggest asshole ever. We watch in heartfelt awe as Katie and Matt go on about the life of the poor Katrina dolphins while tons of people are still homeless and jobless. We can’t wait for Angelina and J Lo to get married, pregnant or divorced…again.

I could care less if this shit is reality or not. At the end of the day, it is good literature that I hated to put away when my bus ride came to an end. It is good literature that made me want to talk about the book to others. It is good literature that took me far away from my own world and put me in the world of someone else. It is good literature about a person with a drug addiction who overcame it and is alive to tell about it. I don’t care if he had Novocain or not when he went in to get his teeth fixed. I don’t care if his ex-girlfriend hung herself or slit her wrists. Suicide is suicide. The fact that he is creative enough to be able to fabricate such believable stories is cool enough for me. My stomach turned during the dental incident, Novocain or not. We all love a good story. Yes, it makes it better if the story is true. But it’s still a story…fiction or non.

Oprah needed to take the high road on this one. Instead she took the road to prove that she indeed had not been had. So, the Ope Dope’s are happy once again and James Frey is probably on the edge of smoking crack again. Now only if Oprah would have the President on her show and ask him to explain his lies. This probably would not bode well for her online boutique sales however. We wouldn’t want to see the sales of the Oprah Bear with Tee or O Baby Infant Onesie’s drop. Now would we???